夏至

Summer solstice.

Another good time of year (the time around my birthday). Midsummer, summer solstice, whatever. Summer used to hold very hopeful and somewhat romantic notions for me, but over time I got over it. I came to the conclusion that it was the same as every other day of every other month of every other year: it was a time that I could capitalize upon and Get Shit Done. Anyway, my mood tends to fluctuate quite often, so I never get around to the Doing part of it all, but again, where’s the fun in burning out? I’m in limbo right now, trying to figure out if my current state of existing is an extended childhood nostalgia-filled daydream or just another unexpected part of moving forward. That’s how life is, right? Just keep moving on, going forward; your mistakes are just stepping stones or bridges, and death is waiting at every corner. I used to marvel at that idea, but just like all my thoughts, I got tired of mulling it over. So what? I go forward because that’s the only direction I can even go in.

Sometimes my brother says some really weird things. We got a new(er) car a few days ago, and my brother was stuck on the idea that so much money can be gone in a flash. Things like that seem so simple—everything we can purchase is a trade and the bigger things we have to save up more for. We budget and plan. Every choice we make has days of discussion and thought behind it. It’s interesting to think that once, I was also 9, and I didn’t budget my time or money, or have to account for Things I Have to Do more than 24h in advance… anyway, I kind of lost myself there. Let’s move on.

But! However! It is warm, and that means I can dress comfortably. My siblings are done with school, so hopefully that means more video games, baking, badminton, and annoying the hell out of each other and our parents. I got a haircut recently, too, so I’m in peak summer form right now. A massive shapeless blob that is ready to consume. There’s a bit under 10 days until my birthday. As mentioned before, I was really hyped to turn 10. But 20… that’s something I never expected. Halfway to my goal (just kidding. maybe). I’m glad I don’t have to celebrate it. I’d rather just stay at home. Fortunately, there’s a lot of time for me to do that.

Not much content in today’s post either. My sister made madeleines for Father’s Day today, and I think they turned out pretty good.