spring fever

立夏 。

Turns out that I’ve been sick for multiple weeks with a fresh new symptom every couple of days. Really not too sure why or what’s going on exactly, but it sure is annoying. At least my mental capabilities are still the same as always, and my mood isn’t that low. I’ve been up and running about for the past two weeks just fine, and it’s been fun (albeit back-breaking) work. The sniffles and wheezing are persistent and I could definitely do without, though at this point I’ve forgotten what it feels like to breathe normally.

So what’s next? I think I’m going to wind down at the end of this school year, maybe wrap up the projects I’m doing with the kids and then focus on the next “big” thing. Then I’ll rewrite my pitch with the completed steps and next plans, and continue trudging along… yes.

I went to the Arts Alive opening on Thursday! It was so weird because I last went in 2013, in grade 7. Before it became a collaborative class entry, anyone could submit things and the art gallery people would come and choose ones to exhibit. I was chosen and I felt super special. I don’t really recall the actual day—I’m pretty sure we only stayed for a little bit because it was raining super hard. This time around, ten years later, I was not a celebrated “young artist” or a teacher or a parent, I was just Some Guy who had helped out. It felt so weird. I listened to the speeches and felt the same sort of indignance, except maybe a little more pointed. It’s just uncomfortable to listen to people patting each other on the back and not talking all that much about the whole main thing, you know. The kids and their art are right there. But anyway.

My brother also turned 12, and my sister finished second year. It’s supposed to be more chill and relaxed now but it doesn’t feel like it… she’s currently playing Mario Kart Tour while sitting next to me in the basement. Everything’s just the same here. Sort of not really.