处暑。
I couldn’t fall asleep last night. The AC is on pretty strong here, but I felt almost feverish. I wasn’t necessarily uncomfortable, or anxious, or even inspired. It was kind of like fireworks, in the way that I had a lot of wildly unrelated thoughts and ideas all of a sudden, and then they would die out only for a new set of weird thoughts and phrases enter my mind. I often think in full sentences, and I kept thinking “Oh, that was good. I should write that down,” and then it was 4AM.
Anyway, school begins in… 2 weeks? I’ve a lot to do even before then, and then a lot to do after. Very sad. Looked back at last year’s post earlier and realized I was Quite Lost. I guess it really was that 3rd-year disillusionment. Not that I’ve found more of a direction (concretely) this year, but I think I’m pretty content with what I am (who I am?). I complained about being inconsistent, but I’ve been consistently inconsistent, and inconsistently consistent as well. It all works out!
Another bad habit I have is saving photos and Big Ideas in a album/document and deciding I should dedicate time to it later, and then getting stressed when I realize it has been a year since I went to the ROM and I haven’t edited the pictures or made a post yet. I think it’d be better at this point to just have something done. Not everything needs to be a super long Thing with titles, subtitles, headers, bibliographies… Though the reason why I tend to be wordy and like to be super extra with the details and supporting information is because I am afraid of misunderstandings. I have come to realize, recently, that sometimes people will go the extra mile to misinterpret you regardless of your attempts to communicate—as long as it benefits them to do so. In that case, should I really care how I present my silly thoughts on here?
I don’t have much else to say now… it’s getting late and I should get up earlier tomorrow so! Later.
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